22 August 2012
I've lost about 5 or 6 pounds. I do ok during work. I take my broccoli and cauliflower for snacks. I drink my one pepsi. I have my coffee in the morning. Then get I get home, and fall off the damn wagon. I am not feeling good, so I eat. And I eat crap. So it makes me not feel good. I went two days without pooping. And when I did, it was a healthy (for me) poop. That was eating healthy. If I eat crap, I go back to having to run, with butt cheeks clenched, to the bathroom. Because I ate crap. I ate bread. So I go to work the next day, and I eat healthy again. But I get home, and shit hits the fan, no one is happy, I have a head ache, and so I eat crap. Then I'll have to crap that crap out. Go back to work and eat healthy. You know what my lunch was today? Cottage cheese, an apple, and chicken breast. I got my "good carbs" from the cauliflower I had for snack. Breakfast was some grapes. I mean, really, I ate well, and felt full. Hell, when we had a going away party at work, I filled my plate with all the yummy pot-luck goodness like I normally do, and it literally sat on the plate until well into the afternoon. I was just too full to eat much. But this binge eating at home because shit sucks, or I'm tired, or I'm cranky, or the kids pissed me off, or I have a headache, needs to STOP. It just needs to stop.